Monday, 9 July 2012


King of screwing myself and now once again im stuck right back at square fucking one, for those who dont know thats round about where killing yourself starts sounding like alotta fun. So fucking tired and over this addiction thats screwing me harder and harder, and from being worth it; every day it just moves away further and farther, more and more smack goes into the spoon everytime i cook and this is common knowledge you find in any medical book. Im not a rocket scientist or a very intelligent guy but isnt shooting up this shit supposed to get me high...
Clean for what feels like eternity yet its only a fucking day, then losing my mind and then with my sanity again i start to play. People who judge me can just fuckoff and die, we get so powerless you literally want to cry. But no more tears do i have left to shed, literally concidering just blowing off my own fucking head. Fortunately i love myself too much to take that step. Addicted, in the gutter, hating my life yet stil so vain - yip???
Dont worry it doesnt make any sense to me either? So many contradictions going on in my head to understand it you must be there. Regaining grip and then again sliding back, god i was of better when i was still smoking crack. To a non-user that statement will make fuckall sense, a short explanaition: detoxing from herion makes you sick while crack just makes you FUCKING tense. They are both fucked up in there different ways and each has its different style; but in comparison to heroin the detox and tension of crack only lasts a short while...

'All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down
And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again'

The Verve - The drugs dont work

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