Wha'eva

Want 2 be, can you see, i am not the real me, definitely not free. lost is my soul, fuckt is my goal, lost as a whole, me-is for whom the bells toll. knowing im gone, not sure where im from. crying in the rain, lost without this pain, completely insane, lying is my game, yet i do it with shame. still i am growing with every curve ball life is throwing, not knowing where the fuck im going, shit man- its showing.

still on about it

crazy is-crazy are, try 2 wish upon star, completely losing your
mind, yet you are still thinking you are one of a kind? failing and
falling-completely off the rail and everything else decided 2 fail.
should i stay or should i go? how the fuck am i gonna start saying no,
just quit and walk away, that aint happening-not today. as badly as i
wish it could be, already the real truth i know and see...

believe in?

Another day, another reason 2 pray, just wanting the best, forgetting
about the rest, how much more suffering can you go through, what the
fuck are you gonna do? how much more can you bare, through all this
hate and despair, being high all the time, why is it a crime, the only
one i hurt is me, the rest are 2 blind 2 see, what i am really doing,
cause im the only one im screwing, stealing away from my own life bit
by bit, then eventually turning it completely into shit. once you
accept this fate the rest turns out quite great, the more time you took
and the deeper you get 2 look the more you will understand how much of
you an addiction can demand, taking away everything that once was you
and building back someone very true, sometimes bad, mostly sad,
stronger than before with lots of wisdom plus more, another day,
another 10 million fucking reasons 2 pray...

blue?

falling, sinking, deeper and further, not caring 2 much, want 2 care-
or do i? can i? what is the fucking point, u can never b free, wanting
2 understand but are we truly capable of understanding or is it not
better if we rather dont have a clue as 2 what the fuck is going on,
ignorance is bliss or is it? dont run away from your problems but if
you insist i suggest the faster you run the more time you have 2 find
a decent hiding place, you cant hide forever, you can if you take
enough provisions. how much is 2 much and how much more can you take
after you have officially had enough? and then you open your eyes and
get a surprise...

dont think this is a subject

2 many questions, not enough answers, 2 much 2 do, not even enough
time 2 plan a proper journey and already you have 2 pretend 2 enjoy
the ride, being forced into the complete opposite direction by someone
with a smile on their face and a good intention in their heart, so
much fear for change yet praying for it 2 come morning, noon and
night, losing your fucking mind while your are fighting for your own
sanity, looking at your watch and realizing that once again you are
late for work, not caring about it yet worrying about it while you are
on the way there, complete and total peace of mind in the system goes
hand in hand with losing who and what you are and working towards
getting it back means less or no more peace of mind, what are we
fighting for cause no matter what the outcome cash is king and he with
no money will be the cunt and then if you make a lot of money it turns
you into a bigger cunt, a losing battle or just someone losing their
mind?

skibadedooda

A huge fuckin struggle inside of you, what the fuck can you do, trying
2 get rid of this huge part of me, the thing that made me see, the
truth about all this shit going round, as fucking weird as it my
sound, it broke me down- all the way into the ground, then through
hardship and pain, it built me up again, much stronger than before,
better and stronger and wanting more, out of this fucking life, only
if i can get over this freaking strife, going on inside of me, just
you wait and see...

These subjects are killing me

2 fried 2 even write a poem, 2 baked 2 even wanna get home, all you
want 2 do is sit and chill not having much of a free will. wishing u
were dead, i think that is enough said, how can u still carry this
another day, wont this shit just go away. taking it one day at a
fucking time is worse than commiting a crime, but we have 2 push
through, what else can we do. we cant just throw our hands in the air
and pray cause we have 2 get something 2 take this pain away, from
your lower back to your toes, jip thats about how cold turkey goes,
dont forget the spasms and the cold sweats and the sleepless nights
full of regrets. after a week of hell the boredom sets in and that is
when the real fun will begin...

not sure yet

from the shattered youth, right through 2 your moment of truth, how
the fuck do you dare, talk about all this pain you bare, lost in
oceans of shit, yes that is about it, sink or swim, loose or win,
completely out of my fucking mind, at least im not the only one of my
kind, or am i cause ill never know, cause we the druggies hardly show,
the truth we carry inside cause society forces us to hide, why? oh
please let me tell, cause them thinking they are better than us
fucking smell, cause much stronger than them we are, and much more
evolved by far.

still blah-blah

How do u pick this up, how do you 'come right', how the fuck are you
suppose to sort this out. all this shit was not done in one day and
there is no fucking way it gonna get undone in a day, some much energy
got put into this delicate procedure of fucking up a perfectly good
life- so perfect, so pure, so much potential, capable of anything and
everything but nobody couldve ever imagined how capable i was of
fucking up that perfect everything so good and solid. the only thing
that is still left is a big, stinky pile of morals, why stinky? cause
morals kinda get in the way when you are hooked on smack, i can
promise u that. a junkie that doesnt steal, who the fuck is gonna
believe that? i wont, a junkie that doesnt lie about anything exept 4
his addiction, what the fuck is this world coming 2- heroin addicts
that dont lie, steal, cheat, eat meat, white starch or anything
processed or out a factory- no wonder im so fucking misunderstood
cause i dont even understand that myself or could it be a cover,
created by my subconcious to protect me because no one can see the
real me under all of this and i promise u if they found out the truth
everyone will say they knew all along and ill be back at square one,
getting blamed for everything from a cellphone that dissapeared 500
years ago to global warming and im so not in the mood for all that
shit cause i hardly have the strenght for this...

eish?

Whoopi-fucking-doo! Im totally fucking screwed. Once you're hooked on
smack, it feels like there is no turning back. you fuck yourself over
hard, without having any regard, for who or what you are and you're
left with this huge fucking scar. it follows you where ever you go and
the only thing you have to show for this life you fucked up so well is
a stupid fucking story 2 tell...