It's literally been years since the last time I've posted, so much have changed - so many more braincells have been roasted. Life has turned a 180 more than once or twice yet my future is still as uncertain as the throwing of a dice. Fuck! At least there you have a one in six chance, here it just moving forward in a complete and utter deep and deadly trance. Did so well for so fucking long even thought I was immune and maybe even strong. Fuck me sideways boy was I wrong. I suppose there is no reason to cry about this fucking shit, all I can do is try picking my life up again bit by bit. How tired can one single person get? How much more is there that one single person can regret? The more I am typing the more I hate me, myself and I and the fucked up part is that I don't even have tears to cry. Frustration building up through body and brain, and the tension caused by it is driving me the fuck insane.
Fuuuck! How much more can I hate myself and me? How fucking blind and stupid can one person be? Numbing myself out from morning to night, so sick and tired of this constant fight. The problem is what to do when you are clean and sober when your biggest fear is actually strarting all over?
Sad but true, boo-fucking-hoo!
'I hate myself and I wanna die'
Kurt Cobain
Fuuuck! How much more can I hate myself and me? How fucking blind and stupid can one person be? Numbing myself out from morning to night, so sick and tired of this constant fight. The problem is what to do when you are clean and sober when your biggest fear is actually strarting all over?
Sad but true, boo-fucking-hoo!
'I hate myself and I wanna die'
Kurt Cobain
Greetings from a 61 year old german grandma.
ReplyDeleteI'm using heroin, cocaine, codeine and methadone since 1978, for 41 years. I only stopped the illegal drugs because my body is shutting down now. Methadone i will Take until i die.
I contracted TBC from an undiagnosed patient. I worked as a registered nurse since 1980.��
The first years werde the worst, but now i've nothing to regret at all.
I'm thankful for every single year on this wonderful planet.
I'm thankful for our wonderful son amnd our granddaughter.
Don't be so negative! Everyone could have a better carriere, more money or the perfekt partner.
But at last the things that counts are the simple ones.
Don't be so hard to yourself.
Take care. ��
Sorry, the autocorrection is alway on, when it's not necessary. ��
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