Another brainfart?

Do you really think you have what it takes, to just for once in your life to just completely slam on the god damn brakes? Cause you really are like a fucking runaway train - how many more times do u wnt 2 lose ur mind again, and again just fry the last bit of whts lft of ur brain. Standing infront of a simple choice: yes or no? And this is where your strenght of character will start to show - cause while you are standing infront of that crossroad there is only one direction you want to go and every bit of common sense you posess is shouting and screaming: NOOOO!
So once again this simple choice you turn into this huge predicament, and into your life sobriety you struggle to implement. Sooo fucking crazy, dazed and confused: that their reality leaves u confused. So what the fuck is there left to say? Keep it clean: just for today. Fuckoff with your NA mentality, let me sort this out and let me be.

'One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray.

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worth while
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train'

Soul Asylum - Runaway train