Entertainment

On the one side im praying for a huge fucking miracle and on the other side im getting fucked over majorly by my corrupt not-so-free-anymore-will? If you think it sounds confusing to you? Your not alone cause the same goes for me too. I literally imprisoned my own mind voluntarily, using my best friend aka my worst enemy, the sweetest yet most disgusting kiss youll ever taste; while its the easiest yet hardest way to lay your whole fucking life to waste...
Without her its just so fucked up to pick up the pieces bit by bit, powerless is how you feel when you try to fix all this shit. Every day a step further away from yourself you take, due to all the fucking morals and values through the years you did break. Why the fuck am i always whining and complaining? On its own this fucking addiction is already so draining. If i could just shut the fuck up for a short little while and accept that I really fucked up everything with a style...
Im literally the best at anything and everything i do, unfortunately the same goes for how hard myself i can screw. Wish i could focus that arrogance on getting out of this fucking hole, even just a bit of it to start taking control. Actually i should know by now the word control doesnt go in the same sentence than chemical dependancy, ive proved it to myself over and over so by now the truth i should see. One is too many and a thousand will never be enough, not original but every now and then there is some truth in some of the NA's stuff...


"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Elective Affinities