All i want to do is get out of this vicious fucking cycle, but how the fuck do you get out of it? Stupid fucking idiot, making no fucking sense at all. Just writing and writing to pass the time, wanting to break everything, the sheer joy of just smashing and breaking something, shattering it into a million little pieces like ive done with my life. Getting rid of all this anger and stress, just to be able to let go. How much more do you think you can take, a hit makes you feel better at most for an hour, craving for the rest, more and more is all you want, cash is king, a king is what dealers treat you like if you have it - their best friend. Shit is all that this crap causes. Shit is what you get treated like by your worshippers if you are broke. Broke is what you are most of the time due to this shit. Yet you cant stop worshipping it, pants torn, knees bleeding from all the grovelling, you know right from wrong yet in this reality wrong is right. The more wrong you do the better you feel or is that worse, short term, long term, you polish a turd and its still a turd. Sick of fighting, yet fighting not to get sick, dont know, doesnt show, how the fuck do you let it go?
'You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you. Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell. Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself'
NIN - Closer
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