I really dont know if today conted as clean but atleast two days its been. A valuin and 3 subutex tabs for breakfast time and then two valuims and two subutex tabs at lunch just to keep feeling fine, im not even mentioning the 17 blunts i had but thats the thing thats keeping me from going completely bonkers and mad. Hey..shit: atleast i didnt use smack and have gotten two days of sobriety back...
And thats more than most adiicts can wish for, you aint finding this body cold and blue on any floor...
I cant and i wont...
Fuck that shit!
I have to get up and make a difference...
My time is now...
'I don't know how I got this way. I know it's not alright. So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit. Tonight. Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door. I try to catch my breath again. I hurt much more. Than anytime before'
Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit
Lots of thoughts and feelings I was writing down while deep in heroin addiction, this was my therapy maybe even my journal but that’s not important. Juggling addiction, relapse, rock bottom, relationships, recovery, life and death. Inspiring journey about redemption, love, hate, mental instability and maybe even some hope and it rhymes. Laughing, crying, shouting and screaming all raw and uncensored emotions and truths. A love hate relationship with opioids and life but most importantly myself
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Hi Smackhead,
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you man with a couple of days clean behind me. It's not exactly fun but then neither is the alternative.
The time is most definitely now, & maybe, just maybe, forever !
Take care mate. Karl