Dissapointment

Constantly dissapointing the 3 people in your life that actually care - one negative word, one negative whisper gives them this huge fucking scare. What the fuck is everyone on about, i just wanna get into their faces with all my hate and anger scream and shout. But if you look at the bigger picture: ive never ever given them reason to trust and believe in me before, and the trust that was there at the beginning, man! It just aint there no-more...
Trust is something with which you should not fuck around and play: cause when you break its hectically close to forever going away. Shit man, thats a bitch that gets in your way and really fucks with you, cause if the trust is splintered and shattered theres not much you can you do. Trying to protect yourself and them by lying but at the end of the day it still ends up in a fuck load of shouting and crying...
Still at the end of the day the only ass you were actually trying to protect belonged to you, so what the fuck were you actually trying to do? Bullshit yourself aswell in the same process, all your fuckups and slips trying to repress? Well all you can take from this is that it didnt a fuck work out, atleast you know more of what you are about...

'Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld. So I can sigh eternally. I'm so tired I can't sleep. I'm a liar and a thief. I sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea. I'm anemic royalty'

Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea