Constantly dissapointing the 3 people in your life that actually care - one negative word, one negative whisper gives them this huge fucking scare. What the fuck is everyone on about, i just wanna get into their faces with all my hate and anger scream and shout. But if you look at the bigger picture: ive never ever given them reason to trust and believe in me before, and the trust that was there at the beginning, man! It just aint there no-more...
Trust is something with which you should not fuck around and play: cause when you break its hectically close to forever going away. Shit man, thats a bitch that gets in your way and really fucks with you, cause if the trust is splintered and shattered theres not much you can you do. Trying to protect yourself and them by lying but at the end of the day it still ends up in a fuck load of shouting and crying...
Still at the end of the day the only ass you were actually trying to protect belonged to you, so what the fuck were you actually trying to do? Bullshit yourself aswell in the same process, all your fuckups and slips trying to repress? Well all you can take from this is that it didnt a fuck work out, atleast you know more of what you are about...
'Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld. So I can sigh eternally. I'm so tired I can't sleep. I'm a liar and a thief. I sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea. I'm anemic royalty'
Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea
Lots of thoughts and feelings I was writing down while deep in heroin addiction, this was my therapy maybe even my journal but that’s not important. Juggling addiction, relapse, rock bottom, relationships, recovery, life and death. Inspiring journey about redemption, love, hate, mental instability and maybe even some hope and it rhymes. Laughing, crying, shouting and screaming all raw and uncensored emotions and truths. A love hate relationship with opioids and life but most importantly myself
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Why the fuck cant i just take this one last step into the unknown? I know my path is at its end cause in my dreams to me its been shown? Yet...
You're right about that... It sucks to loose someone's trust, and it's hard as hell to earn it back. Hope you're hangin in there.
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