Fuckt

Falling deeper and deeper, feels like opiates are my keeper, closer and then futher away from myself a catch22 and that any blind man can see, really dont have a fucking clue as what i want to be. Life empty and hollow, all that was good addiction did swallow. How will i ever pick up the splinters of me, how the fuck will i ever just be? Cant tell the difference between hunger and craving, so fucking low down for the first time in my life im not even shaving. Always taking care of this hollow shell, if i dont people will be able to tell, that ive got this demon inside of me and that i dont want anyone to see...
Yet its getting difficult to supress the side part inside, dont even know why im trying to hide, who the fuck am i tring to impress, not one fucking personn could care less. If i could just figure out what the fuck i want of life and what life wants of me, maybe then the light i will see. But untill then if i didnt love myself so much suicide would be ontop of the list, fuck life, fuck love, fuck heroin and im talking with a fist...
No lube, no reacharound, cruel and cold as it may sound. So much pain caused by those three, yet the final choice to be happy is up to me, so what the fuck should i do, how the hell all this shit do i unscrew. Untill then just falling and falling, i must make a choice out of this hole to start crawling. But how the FUCK, I NEED MORE THAN LUCK...