This addiction is such a cunt thing to have and with to live, so much of yourself you lose and sometimes involantarily give, one day motivated, moving forward and fucking strong and the next day in one desicion you make everythings fucked up and wrong. The frustration and dissapointment is such a killjoy, experiencing wall punching, someone headbutting anger cause once again with your life you did toy. Why the fuck would you gamble with all this strenght and goodwill thats being lifting you up, all this good energy for no reason you once again did corrupt...
Something you have to experience is what its like when an addicts head rolls into that one specific track, no logic or reason, rain or shine, even distruction and pain will make you turn back, its as is you are caught prisoner in this vessel thats on its way to go and score, just a visitor, a passenger and literally fuckall else more. The part that's 'you' that is caught up in this unfortunate event, is screaming no, stop, get out turn around even out of sheer fucking desperation...repent!!!
For one moment it might have been enjoyed too much but on getting pissed off and fucking annoyed at myself i quickly let go of the clutch. Rammed my ass straight into cursing myself and literally forcing my to be pissed off about the sweet honey i tasted, repeating and nurturing the anger and regret even about the money wasted. Now the fucking problem comes with what tomorrows choices will bring, at the end of the day what type of song will i sing. Fuck me sideways i might have put myself in a catch 22? Now the question is...about this, what the fuck am i gonna do???
'People are strange when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly when you're alone. Women seem wicked when you're unwanted. Streets are uneven when you're down. When you're strange. Faces come out of the rain. When you're strange.No one remembers your name.When you're strange.'
The Doors - People are Strange
'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. Bob Marley - Redemption song
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