Where the fuck...

Sitting and thinking about all the lies that spread, worrying about all the unneccasary tears that got shed, completely depressed, morbid and lost in thought, but also so fucking happy about all the lessons i got taught, rejoicing about being one step closer to myself again, yet fuck confused about all the misery and pain it did bring, so many people lost along the way and it all started out as a fucking little game to play...
Young, naughty and sooo fucking naive, what the fuck did i try to prove? Always last man standing: mr fucking hardcore yet always just wanted and needed masses more. Everyone always checking and saying 'hes the fucking man', god i wasnt even remotely aware of how life already had for me a twisted plan. Just so fast i was falling so fucking hard and much deeper than planned, fuck me but for 18years my body was unmanned...
Moving through life on autopilot and in a zone, taking my paces through hell on my own, ok? In my darkest hours there was always people that care but you raped it out and then after a while - not there, complete lost and fucked with just your best friend and worst enemy to carry you through, the audacity wasnt he the one that actually put you there, fucking asshole two faced little cunt, and this addiction is more about need that want...
Racing against time for your next fix, anything goes just not dicks, nothing not even my life had meaning for so long, but now i realize its my perspective that was wrong? Addiction hurt and in more than just a pain in the arse, ill probably rather eat pieces of metal and glass. But i suppose if your path has been walked and your lessons you have leant, thinking and understanding why everything crashed and burnt. Then youre ready to move on and just let go, lets see what the future will hold and show...

'good friends we had, oh good friends we lost along the way, in this bright future you cant forget your past so dry your tears i say'

Bob Marley - No woman No cry