So hard do you beg for strenght and for mercy, cause all i want is to kick this fucking habit and go back to being just me. No chasing the clock for your next score, cause all that brings in anyway is just this huge want for more. Cant go on living your life just running after a your next fucking hit, and all it causes is hate, anger, frustration and alotta other unneccasary shit. You know every single complication and yet you cant get yourself to stop? You are literally turning your everything into an even bigger flop...
So fucking confusing is this dilemma you are facing, the complications and cravings are even worse than basing. One fucking hit and all your hard work goes down the drain, and your life returns to misery and pain. How the fuck does this shit in any way make sense, the only thing im sure of is that it leaves you so fucking tense. You know what happens if this one single bad choice you make yet unconciously you make a choice your sober streak to break...
I know that other people think you are fucked up, stupid and wasted, to go back to all this pain and misery youve tasted. Yet when then somthing inside you gets a hold of your personality, and this motherfucker just cant let you be. No it has to give you a push right back into the abyss - and of all your hard work it has to take thw piss. I wonder if there is a 'right way' to get it right to quit? And if there is god dammit when will i find it???
'As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.'
Mel Brooks
'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. Bob Marley - Redemption song
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