Who wouldve known that one person can fall again this fast, for once i need to make a choice and make it last. This getting up and falling on a weekly basis is emotionally and physically so tiring, people that made it through this to the end im actually admiring. So scared of what the day of tomorrow will bring, about the grim reaper making an appearance im constantly worrying. On the other side you hate the space you are in so badly that death sounds like a better option? Yet you also know that sad train of thought comes from years of self corruption. Bad choices all leading to anger and hate, fuck me but this is a hard preordained reality or even fate...
When they start fucking out everyone to a certain degree think its cool but from were im standing now i can see i chose the path of the stupid one or rather the fool. When you start this shit no one realizes the magnatude of the shit they are starting here, it wouldve been so much fucking easier and less painfull to have from the beginning just stayed clear. But i didnt so what the fuck am i supposed to do, wish there was a way yourself you could unscrew...
Wishfull thinking i would say, theres no easy way to just make this shit go away. Only way is to choose and then the bullet to bite and when the easy part is over then day to day you gave to fight. And this is a battle within and with yourself aka your own worst enemy and i know this fucker: hes just as skilled as devious as me. Fuck this is such a deep hole i dropped myself in! Just wish i knew what the day of tomorrow will bring...
'Day, A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.'
Ambrose Bierce
'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. Bob Marley - Redemption song
Thursday 23 August 2012
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And edited….
Buy now on Amazon Up in Smoke…a life? Up in Smoke... A Life? A Haunting Journey ...
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Opened my eyes this morning and already i had to put up a huge fucking fight, but fighting addiction and the cravings is neither fair nor ri...
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Why the fuck cant i just take this one last step into the unknown? I know my path is at its end cause in my dreams to me its been shown? Yet...
Do you really hate this life ?
ReplyDeleteThis world?
I hope you be strong and stay clean.I want you to be clean FOREVER.
Just do it. You can.
If you are not in a safe environment. Change that place. Move out.
I will come and see your next post.
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