Oblivion

Dont know where im headed but im on the road to nowhere, time to change my mind, my mentality, my life and start to care, leave all my unnecesarry baggage behind, leave all this extra weight and shit behind. Fuck! It sounds so easy when its someting you say: but when the muscle and stomach cramps hit that strenght completely dissapears, gone gone and away...
So easy to plan coming clean when you are high, but when you come down and hit the ground all that strenght jumps out the window without even saying goodbye. And when all the cravings and insecurities set right in: that is when all the shit and 'fun' begin. You dont have a fucking clue as what to do with yourself in any way, it feels like months and months go by and then you realise it hasnt even been a day...
Time takes forever and a week feels like a year, all this boredom and cravings make it feel like a fucking year. How much ganja can one person smoke in a day? I suppose it depends on how many issues you have to bury deep and far away. Thats not even a half a sollution at all: the only way out of this fuckup is a complete detox and withdrawel...

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."

Edgar Allan Poe