Sunday, 31 October 2010

Still what

How fucking crazy can one person be, how freaking blind not to see, literally suffering from day to day, knowing that you are busy throwing your life away, not even bit for bit but all at once: it turned to shit, now are we rejoicing or are we crying? have you realized that you are busy dying? No baby steps, no just for today? If only this shit would go away. Not on its own I promise you, there is no easy way-what to do? Sweat it out and suffer like a man, it sound so easy-yes I can. But do I really actually want to? Is there anything else I can do? Medicine sometimes helps a little bit, but then you just start abusing the shit, using it to put yourself in a buzz, rather than using it to take away the fuzz. Not even the thought of going cold turkey is fun, sometimes I just wish I could run, but that wouldn't help at all, cause you cant run away from the withdrawal. Completely fucked and very much out of luck, man does the life of a junkie not suck.


'So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
It couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters'

Nothing else matters - Metallica

Complaining again?

How much longer can u complain, stupid enough to inflict on yourself pain? Just fucking yourself up-time and time again, then you have the audacity to think you are sane, yet you are constantly on a plain, flushing your whole life and all you have down the drain, scoring at the bottom of a dodgy lane, sometimes you have to take a train, but if you look at the bright side there is a lot to gain, for one thing tour life is not mindnumbing and mundane, and you hide it so well cause you tend to get a bit vain, not always realizing how much you have fried your brain and then it just starts over and over again and again and again...


'Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight'

Tonight, tonight - the smashing pumpkins

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Disaster is?

From sad to true, what else is there to do, suffering forever and a day, when will this shit go away, longing for a life a bit more stable, a life with so much potential-anything able, no more standing and crying in the rain, no more hunting for a vein. Pricking holes in yourself a million fold, man - these complaints are getting really old. What the fuck is there actually to do, how many times more- yourself can you screw? Never having the strenght to stand up & move on, rather wishing: on its own this disease will be gone. How fucking stoopid can one person be. Start using heroin you asshole and i promise you will see...


'Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination'
4 non blondes - whats up