Thursday, 6 September 2012
Dont know, stil dont know, not a clue
Havent touched a needle in two days but my smack intake has doubled, reality bust, broken, shattered and sanity wobbled. Every day my common sense is shouting and screaming 'NO!' yet this addicted part of me is just ignoring it and on a mission it will go. Powerless is what it makes me feel, big chunks of my life does it steal, bit by bit eating away of what is truly me and every now and then light at the end of the tunnel can i see. Yet the light at the end of the tunnel is dissapearing fast, what the fuck can i do to make it last???
Just letting go is easier said than done and the cold turkey part is in no way fun. I think its the fear of the unknown thats pulling me back, constantly making me fall down into this crack. Apparently baby steps is the proper way, taking it hour for hour and day by day. Theres no textbook way of dealing with this shit, everyone has his own way - his own fit. All u know is i have to get away from cooking up my hit and downgrading back to chasing this shit...
"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."