Friday, 8 June 2012
Im over these bloody subjects
I was fine untill i convinced myself to go and score and now the only thought on my fucking mind is another hit: MORE! That was part of the reason and logic i tried myself with to convince, and now all the strengh and power is completely fucked up, mashed and minced. Fucking waisted and no longer there - but cause you have no one to dissapoint you sort of dont care. Yet the hit was dissapointing as expected and quite shit, that was also part of my watertight arguement but still i went along with it???
This really makes no fucking sense to me at all, my sytem is sorta clean so im not going through cold turkey or any withdrawel. Only when my head goes into gear to go and score then all of a sudden i get anxious, nausious and my muscles get sore? Really, that is addiction playing a sick and twisted game with me and ive been caught up in it long enough this to see. So i have no legit or even mildly good reason to fuck out? So for the love of god - what the fuck is this all about...
'All I'm writing is just what I feel, that's all. I just keep it almost naked. And probably the words are so bland.'