Friday, 14 September 2012

Fuck addiction

Addiction is probably the biggest catch22 in this life, except for the obvious problems - shit is always rife! Have you ever sat down and wondered why, and if you did how many tears did you waste, did you cry? In the way psyclogy and psyciatry braiwashes our everything, then youll realise why so much misery it does bring. Dont see this as all of a sudden im in this purple cloud or captain fucking recovery, i just handed the problem over to my higher self or my real me...
'Hi, my name is neil and im an addict', that thought stays planted and it sucks dick. 'Youll be a fucking addict untill you die', have you ever thought about the sense in that and the why? NEVER EVER forget that your an addict and that youll always be! It doesnt take a fucking rocket scientist the reality behind that to see. Due to all those statements you ARE always meddling in your addiction and all your shit, plain and simple and that is it...
Positive or negative the universe delivers what you ask for, plain and simple; nothing less and nothing more. Energy, vibration and basically a walking electro-magnet is what you are, with all that 12 step brainwash and bullshit youre creating and vestering in your own scar. When you prep hectically, set a date and fear going cold turkey, you cramp, you shit, you cry, no sleep and out of years of experience i can finally see...
The law of attraction is plain, simple and basic, cause of all that bullshit you make it so bad it really sucks dick. I know its not easy not to focus on all that shit in any way BUT if you can change your mind about it: taste and feel the joys of breaking the habit then half the battles won and it turns into childs play. Just remember that your hates and fears shape your life and thats a fact and lifes biggest reality, dont focus on the negative, the hole youre in, the sick and then youll see...
Fearing the bad and worrying about falling back aka the dreaded fucking word: RELAPSE, thats the simple fucking reason why you get so tense and cant relax. Think what you want but in total ive been addicted to chemicals for 18 long and miserable fucking years, and never ever coming and staying clean has always bean one of my dreaded and greatest fears. Since ive started focussing, feeling and living the joys of being clean, this time round has been the easiest its ever been...

'Mr Rabbit says: a moment of realisation is worth a thousand prayers'

Natural born killers

4 comments:

  1. Great Colors in your Blog. I Like the New Pictures. You Have Remarkable Insight. Hope You Have a Nice Week End. I'll Be Exploring Some New Recipes, Then a Good Movie. Take Care. http://theheroinhabit.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so right. Thinking about all the negative things is what keeps me from quitting. I keep saying I am going to stop, but then I think of how crappy I am going to feel, how much I am going to miss it, the whole detox, and then I keep procrastinating and eventually forget that I even wanted to stop. We all need to see the positives in quitting. Thanks for reminding me of that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hi neil :-) jst commented on ur last post bout law of attraction then i read this! glad u discovered it x change ur focus change ur life watch what u think about... cos thoughts r what lead us astray x u get more and more of what u think about ... change what u covet... change what u get! :-) hope it works for u n will read ya new blog xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. yes you'll always have those memories but no, you do become a recovered addict as soon as you go through the program. yes, the big book, alcoholics anonymous does say in the front that you become "recovered" ED, no longer in recovery. yes, you'll always be an addict-the minute you go back to your DOC, you'll go overboard with it again because that's just what you do as an addict, but if you take control of it, I believe that with a lot of effort, you do get over it and get out of it. You'll still have shit to deal with,mentally and responsibilities, but, at least you won't be a slave to H....if shit didn't go south from my using, I wouldn't quit. No one would. The fact is that things do go south from using for everyone so we are in the same boat. It's not the drug I want to run from, it's what the drug did to me that I want to get away from.

    ReplyDelete