Friday, 23 December 2011

The cure for heroin addiction?

Just a couple of pointers or even guidelines to help u to finally get rid of that long time love/hate, sweetest honey and true love. That little bad habit or naughty affair that became more than just the love of your life but your sick and twisted obsession. A completely new lifestyle - the downgrade in your style of life, your pick-me-up in times of need - and in times of needing: your kill me now and put me out of my misery please, the cause of your purest happiness in the sadness all-round - the cause of all of your sadness opening you up to the need for more happiness. Looking at what it has given to you and then realize what it has taken away, not just materially but emotionally; it completely drained you and over and over it drove u to tears; only if there were tears left, physically it fucks your body up completely when you are on it and your body is fucked up physically when u come off it , mentally you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and tired and sick of being tired and sick. A manifestation or an amplification of what you want to be, sort of like a god when you are high but I can promise you if the shit starts leaving your system the cold turkey will definitely make you cry and scream. And in my personal opinion that's not even the hardest part, after the initial detox the fun really starts. Wishing every second of your miserable life away, not even sure if you are happy to be clean for another day. They say that after a couple of years you start feeling better and things start turning around? (Note the sarcasm) as beautiful and amazing as it sounds my life is today and there is no quick fix to take all this misery and shit away. Except for the boredom, the cravings, the anxiety, the on and off colds, the rage, the depression, the uncertainty, the fear of the future, not being able to remember what I had for breakfast, the mountain of debt I'm trying to crawl my way out off and the lack of trust - it's quite amazing to be winning this battle for once. Putting up the fight of my life against my smack addiction. Let's say if 10 years ago I knew where I'd be today would I do anything differently or would I still make the same choices and let the path of heroin addiction choose me?
So the cure I would say is to stay away in the first fucking place, don't scratch where its not itching and if all of this doesn't give you perspective and you still want go and see (if you are like me and think you are smarter than most or maybe even immune) what it's all about, just make sure you don't have a gun near by cause I promise you that 90% of the time, in and after active addiction, you'll want to blow your fucking brains out...

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."
- Confucius

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