Friday, 23 December 2011

Why ???

What a complete total fucking waste and all you are left with is in your mouth a bad taste; and that goes both ways - literally & figuratively, and only when the regrets kicks in hard that's when you'll see. On your life inflicting just more chaos and shit and that my friend is the truth: and that is fucking it. You don't know if u get more upset about the money wasting or fucking around with ur sobriety, either way ur fucking urself over and no! your not to blind too see...
More and more you are gambling with your life with every bad choice you make and even more you are fucking up what's left of your sanity with every wrong step you take. The worst part of it all is you know the difference between wrong and right, and deep inside you theres this huge motherfucking fight. And the one side of you always loses hands down and afterwards you are always stuck with huge regrets and a even bigger frown...
This fucking battle goes on every single night and day; yet your biggest wish is that it would all just go away. Every bit of energy get focussed on this huge fucking problem at hand but u never-ever actually get close enough to it too really and truly understand. How can you solve a problem when you don't actually have a clue as to what the fuck is actually wrong? I mean being in active addiction for 16 years is too fucking long...

"And as a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you."

Kathy's Song - Simon & Garfunkel

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