Saturday, 6 March 2010

Nowhere special

Still not knowing where to go, and that my man-is is starting to show. Not much left that I can do, I dont think you understand-sometimes it feels so screwed. Getting up with your stomach in pain, Going to bed two steps away from being insane. Not knowing what to believe, not knowing if you want to achieve. Where do we go from here, do we really fucking care. Should I be careful and fit in with the rest or should i take a gamble and try to be the best. Believe it or not- all the drive is there, but getting rich and fitting in- I really dont care. Should I actually try to give a fuck or should I go on making people believe im just hit out of luck. Having to lie about everything and that is how every day begins. having to look up, smile and keep face otherwise people start calling you a disgrace. Do you know how it feels to have your whole everything hanging by the thin single thread of a lie, It takes up so much of your energy that at the end of the day you just want to drop to your knees, break down and cry. As badly as you dont want to, it is really the only thing there is to do. Because if the real version of the truth comes out, then all the judgmental motherfuckers out there will think they know what you are about. Anything and everything that goes wrong they will try and pin it on you, and it doesnt matter how good your alibi you ARE screwed. If something goes missing, you stole it and that is it-and this is only where it begins. Then the way the people stare and then there are those who pretend they actually care. Talk to me, i understand, is that a request or a demand. Dont pretend you know what i am about, the only response you will get from me is fuck you and ill shout. So leave me the fuck alone, let me go and get a fix, relax and go home.  DONT JUDGE ME YOU DONT KNOW ME

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