Think about it, how far you have actually come from that first bad choice u made, if u realize how much u actually had to trade, yes I agree a lot of knowledge and wisdom you did get out but living in pain and misery isn't the only thing the lesson is about. Although its difficult if your whole life all you've ever seen was some fucked up reality gone wrong and holy shit! I think it carried on for much too fucking long.
So how do u get out of this storm you've created all around you, all your options you've raped so maybe its time to try something new? But where do you start building when most of your reality is built on suffering and pain? Where do u actually draw the line as to what is right and what is sane? Never really knowing in which direction to take your very first baby step and that something so difficult yet so significant can be such a schlep...
All you can do about all this shit is sigh cause you can't forget about it by getting high. What started out as stupidity naughtiness and fun has taken so fucking much away from me that I feel like myself minus one. It turned into a fucking demon I couldn't control & the only thing It didn't take from me was my soul?
'Expression and the right to express is vital, anyone can be artistic' - Kurt Cobain