Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Completely adrift

Being completely and totally adrift in the world of today, and knowing for a fact that i dont belong here in any way. Floating around like complete nothingness through the air, dont know - dnt undrstnd - dnt care. Feels like none of your dreams will help the greater good, would it be sellfish of me if i start doubting if they really shud...? Jst floating around like a feather on a lite breeze - jst not with as little effort & ease,
Really caught between a rock and a hard place and it really sux to stare reality straight in the face... Especially when you are sober as shit and with absolutely nutting to smoothen it out - even just a little bit. Not one person thats never been in this place can look down on you like you are a failure or even a disgrace. They will never undrstnd the realities pains and struggling uve had 2 face in your fucking life and if you ask me: through my whole being its been fucking rife. Trying to look and see the bigger picture but all you see is the world as this empty ficture. Only heroin can make you feel this way and only heroin can take this pain and boredom away. Now thats wht you call a catch22 and in situations like this i really dnt know what to do. Sacrifice your whole future to feel better now or live with the pain forever - wow? Using once will in the moment bring you peace, it might even bring you some ease BUT tomorrow is another day and all this strenght and energy you gained will forever be away. So what fucking choice do you make, what freaking path do you take. I suppose sanity is my main goal so for myself another joint i might aswell go and roll...

'excuse me while i light my spliff, oh god i need to take a lift, from reality i just cant drift that why im sitting with this spliff' Bob marley - Easy skanking

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