Monday, 9 January 2012

Valium or pax? Same thing, they both make you relax

Had a bit of a huge fucking slip and fell but i can't let this little fuckup turn into hell. Not again and that i promise you - that hard myself im not going to screw. I cant let go again cause that would just be fucking retarded, with sooo much fucking shit i cant again let my life get bombarded. I swear this fucking time ill put a gun against my head and paint the walls with my brains cause that will be easier than addictions crap, unnessacary rushing and pains. I dont know what the fuck im gonna do but these motions this im not again putting myself through. Fuck this shit - its jst not worth the pain and i promise you this time ill really go insane. Nothing close to do with borderlining it this time - i have to get up and really start to shine. Lift myself out of this heap of shit and stay away from this fucking hell and i dont need a genius for me that bit of info to tell. Why the fuck would you do so good with your life, and then all of a sudden you invite back all the pain and strife? You know where every step you take will lead, and coming closer again to addictions monster to again to feed, i mean history has repeated itself over and over so you really know, how much more hell do you want life you to show? yet you have the stupidity and audacity to proceed, personally making sure in life you don't succeed! How fucking idiotic can one person be, just take a good fucking look at I myself and me and the uttermost of stupidity you will see.
Everything was getting better and perfect in some ways, then here i come along with all my huge stupidity displays. Trying to be smart and trying to be clever and once again you're close to being stuck again - NEVER!
So what the fuck must i do to get out of this motion, take a break for a week; close to the ocean. U can't run away from yourself continiously, but also you must be blind the danger you are in not to see? Here you are once again knocking on the doors of hell and if you are gonna get over that - only time will tell....

'time alone, oh time will tell; think you're in heaven but you're living in hell, time alone oh time will tell'
Bob marley - Time will tell

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