Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Heroin addiction: take 2

This fucking hell of a prison my mind is caught in is so fucking unreal, always up and down, making missions: beg, borrow or steal. Nearly anything and everything just not to feel this way, always promising yourself to stop tommorrow and make it a new day. Its only due to the smack i feel this shit, yet without it you feel worse, sad reality and that is it. Its the H that put you here in the first place, every day trying your best just to keep face. Going out of your way to hide it from anyone that pretends to care, they just mustnt even think about asking questions they mustnt even dare...
Your big secret and you think no one knows a thing, and in the weirdest ways to you advise they do bring. Youre excuses are always between a cold and flue or a stomach ache. For how long can you ride out these excuses before they shatter and break? What the fuck will your next line of defence be? Praying that for a while longer theyre too stupid the truth to see. One the one side you actually dont give a continental blue fuck, yet youre always lying about it: fingers crossed behind your back for luck...
Not lying cause the person you are is in any way bad? Just the stigma and label stamped on addicts are criminal, horrible, depressing and sad. Although im always trying to be as honest as what few heroin addicts can be, always putting in all my energy and trying so fucking hard to break free. I really have to cause in this fucking manner i really cant go on, journey of self-discovery is over and for the future im ready and really strong. Ready for anything that life can throw at me, now i just have to get out this hole so that i can i can test the water and then ill really see...


'Heroin - A drug that helps you to escape reality, while making it much harder to cope when you are recaptured.'

Nikki Sixx , The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star

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