Sunday, 26 February 2012

????

I really shouldn't even get affected by shit like this in any fucking way, getting more and more miserable with every passing minute of every bloody day. Yet all i shud do is change my travelling route and then just completely try to ignore it? Cause you know that in your life that one single, wee little bit of smoke only causes a huge avalanche of shit. Every part of your mind is manifesting, shouting and screaming: NO! Yet your body has its own fucking agenda cause all it does is go...
'if u get out now you can avoid a huge fucking disaster... God dammit cant this taxi go any faster. Head shouting: 'The light just turned red, you have time this demise to ecape!', your legs responing with nothing but putting foot down hard on the brake. Arrogance beaming: 'you cant go anywhere without me', ill still get you, you little bastard - just you wait and see...
This is one battle im not going to lose, victory is mine and all i had to do was conciously choose, lift your arse and get the fuck out of that train or taxi, every step you walk further away from it u'll feel better and that you'll see. Breaking that stupid fucking routine is all you need to do, if you can take that first step things will start looking up and through experience: that's my guarantee to you...

'I have no options left again. I don't want to be the one the battles always choose, cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused. I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream. I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean. I don't know how I got this way. I'll never be alright. So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit tonight'

Beaking the habit - Linkin park

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