Saturday, 16 June 2012

Rags to riches

This bitch drug called smack will take you and pull you all the way down the fucking drain, to get out of her spiral is like trying to stop a runaway train. From the perspective of someone whos never ever used, theyll just look at your fruitless efforts and constantly be amused. Thinking and asking stupid questions like: why dont you just say no and stop? And thats right about when i start thinking: you fucking idiot, you really are a stupid fucking chop! If it was that easy dont you think i wouldve stopped this shit 10 years ago? I mean, im a druggie - im not stupid or slow...
No you stupid cunt, i enjoy literally hating my life every second of every fucking day, i love it so much that im constantly wishing this miserable life of mine away. Heroin addiction is the most amazing choice with my life i couldve made. The agression it causes and constantly worrying about going cold turkey or dying is brilliant man and oh so fucking great. Always worrying about getting money before you start to detox for your next hit, this is the life to live - really cuz - this is it! And there is another couple of other bonusses which i forgot, constipation, chest cramps, liver aching, kidneys throbbing and one by one your teeth away theyll rot...
Doesnt it sound like the most amazing life there is to live, addiction is the biggest and best present to yourself that you can give. It feels like any-fucking-second you can drop over and die, sometimes you feel so frustrated and powerless that its not even worth it to break down and cry. You constantly have this repedative burning urge to just to hang up your guns and quit, u know how fucked up and bad for your health and exsistance this poison really is and that is it. But with heroin you are so fucking hooked that about 500 times a week you make plans to quit and promise yourself this hit is your fucking last; then when you see again your still hooked, life is even more fucked up and another year or two has gone past...

'Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me, Distracting/reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection. It's haunting, how I can't seem...'

Linkin Park - Crawling

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