Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Trapped

Being trapped inside your own body for what feels like a thousands years plus another year or five, sometimes you're so fucking numb that you really don't even feel it when you pinch yourself to make sure that you are still alive. This fucking neverending hell you are living in, absolutely nothing good in your life this shit brings. You're going through life just getting dragged the fuck along, clawing and gripping but unfortunately the force of addiction is just too bloody strong...
Fingerpoints, hands and elbows completely scraped to the bone and finger nails torn, from being dragged around for so long everything is fucked and worn. Sometimes holding on feels really impossible to me, but you must experience it yourself in order to see, what the fuck im talking about here, and im not gonna let it go on for another year...
Its like trying to get up while being pulled by a truck, sound impossible, can be done but holy shit and good luck! Fortunately after being fucked up and addicted for so many years, it makes you tough as nails and takes away most your fears. Just do it - i mean really go for it, get up and fuck everything and everyone with all their negative shit...

'There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming/confusing. This lack of self-control I fear is never ending. Controlling/I can't see.
To find myself again. My walls are closing in(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before. So insecure!'

Crawling - Linkin Park

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