Monday, 14 May 2012

Dont temp fate?

It is said that you shouldnt temp fate until fate tempts you? Yeah right! thats the excact opposite of what a wise-ass like me will do? Also the reason why most of the time i just zone-out and in the shadows quietly float by; unfortunately also my excuse for constanly being on a buzz and staying high. Permanently zoned out - i mean the time is 7 in the morning and im on a buzz right now, all i can think about it is: its just so fucking wrong, holy-shit-eish-fuck and wow?...
Most people are sill in bed trying to keep warm or maybe even getting rid of their morning glory, whatever theyre up to in the morning - mine is the exact opposite and a completely different story. Already buzzing hard and walking on a fucking cloud, cursing and shouting at myself and bombarding myself with questions like: does this really make you happy and is this what the fuck life is really about? Literally hating every second of every day, most of the fucking time wishing your life away...
Just because you tempted fate this downward spiral im caught in again is completely out of control, and for the past 10years getting out of this fucking mess has been my one and only goal. Then just as i get head above water and for the first time in a long time again you can breathe, then this certain part of youself takes over and boy can it decieve. Its a vicious fucking hell hole you once again got yourself caught in, why the fuck do i procrastinate so hectically with quitting and starting my life - for fuck sakes! Just start to do something about this mess, just begin...

'Cause when the smack begins to flow. Then I really don't care anymore. When the heroin is in my blood and that blood is in my head, then thank God that I'm as good as dead. Then thank your God that I'm not aware. And thank God that I just don't care'

Velvet Underground - Heroin

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