Wednesday, 30 May 2012

From hero to zero in 1 bad choice

I was fucking walking on air, in this fucking world i had not one single care. Even had a stride in my walk, confidence was beaming and you could even pick it up in my talk. For a short while it reminded me of a life i had long ago, and happiness in every aspect did it show. You will never understand how pissed with myself im getting now, while typing this and thinking how badly I FUCKED UP - WOW!!!
I was really fucking detoxed, clean and sober not to long back, altho not sleeping well but in comparison the heroin addiction that is really jack. Stranger things have happend but in a flash the balance in my exsistance started returning, and weirdly enough i didnt even feel like going to score or any tricks turning. Things really felt like they were returning to normality, fucking amazing; can this really be? Still celebrating and rejoycing about being sober and clean. Sooo...this calls for a celebration; know what i mean???
Being the fucking-stupid-annoying-ignorant-little cunt like only i can, walking into the worst fucking self-constructed trap; man!?! Cause as i went to go and score, found a new spot where to get gear and more. Walked passed a spot and saw someone buying something with a familiar looking cap made of orange plastic and this is where things started fucking out and derailing like in drastic. Now i am so fucked and only if youve been in this position in your life, then youll know that know the shit is gonna be rife!!!

'Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today.Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye.
Goodbye, all you people, There's nothing you can say To make me change my mind. Goodbye'

Pink Floyd - Goodbye cruel world

1 comment:

  1. As long as there is a breath in your body, there is hope! Don't give up. I know that one slip takes you all the way back, but if you got clean and sober once, you can do it again. Have faith in yourself.