A addict in my bedroom...oh! Thats me

Laying on the couch and all i feel is lost and gone but i mean really really far, if i was an alcoholic i could go and drown my sorrows at the closets bar. But no...smack is the one i chose to worship and love and i promise you that its everything but a blessing from above. Everything just always so badly drags the fuck on and untill you have your gear in your hand the whole world is just plain and simple no questions asked: wrong...
Coneverations you fucking hate, everything around you is moving slowly and this person is babbeling on as if they smoked a ton of slate. Contact is just fucking wrong and it grosses you out, sorta defying what tis human experience is about. Absolutely fuckall in your life feels in any way right, and nothing you want to achieve comes without a massive fucking fight...
You know how to sort this out you can really fix it all, you have all your smarties so you dont even again have to go through that horrible cold-turkey withdrawel. But what the fuck is wrong in your confused little head; you'll rather choose the hard and fucked up route instead. I really have to be the stupidest, thickest motherfucker i know - i mean read the shit i write down, i promise you: it does show...

'I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I'm not around. You're so fucking special. I wish I was special'

Radiohead - Creep