Friday, 27 July 2012

Control zero

Self-control has left the buulding and im completely lost, sweats at night yet it feels like my core is covered in frost, the more gear i pump into my veins, the more i get of these fucking pains. I know its common sense for any junkie, so dont think im a stupid cunt or a retarded monkey. Just not in the mood for typing any more, brain is bruised, battered and fucking sore. Yet im sitting typing away, waiting for what...? A better day...
Those dont just come as gifts and presents on your birthday, you earn it by wishing your fucking life away. After so much praying and so many years, the come after youve spilled millions of tears. Sobriety doesnt just come in a day but in one second you can make it go away. It all depends on the choices you make and how tough you are, its got fuckall to do with wishing on a star...
So much hard work and effort does it take, so many promises you have to break. To yourself and to all those around - i know cruel it does sound, but its this huge fucking learning process, and losing everyone you love really does depress. Yet its a road you have to walk, and its tarred with all the bullshit that you talk. But its something you have to do, to turn into who you have to be its a process you have to go through...


'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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