Wednesday, 18 July 2012

The Bible, The Qur'an, THE Addiction ???

Somewhere in the NA book 'one is too many and a thousand will never be enough' gets said. Thats one fucking fact that over and over to an addict needs to be spoonfed! From a negative thought becoming a slip and it causes a huge fucking wobble - into a tidalwave, in for the ride of your life that causes so much unnessacary pain and trouble. Really robbing, stealing and taking away so many different aspects and pieces of you along the way, im not joking cause this motherfucker of a thing doesnt take fucking up your life lightly and really doesnt play...
Cause there is one ginormous and fucking sad reality; this wave of terror gets power from your cunting junkie-mentality. You are so fucking used to the way its always been, within two days you are straight back into your old and fucked up routine. All the hard work you put in, all the effort was just plainly fucking wasted, the second you made that bad choice to tempt fate by running back to the most vile and disgusting love and honey youve ever tasted...
Well atleast im still putting all my fucking energy into leaving this shit behind, trust me towards me so far the universe has been sorta kind? Literally had to lose everyone i loved and everything thats important to me, just so that my eyes can open and that how fucked i am i could see. Unintentionally breaking trust and hearts as i move forward on a river of tears, no eye contact just in the wind you hear the whispers thats manifesting all your fears. I really need to make a descent fucking plan and stick to it and the forget about and stop bothering myself with other peoples' opinions CAUSE ITS JUST HEAPS AND HEAPS OF SHIT...

'I'll start this off without any words
I got so high that I scratched 'til I bled
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
The finest day that I've ever had
Was when I learned to cry on command
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
I'm on a plain
I can't complain'

Nirvana - On a plain

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