Monday, 16 July 2012

Gawd these subjects!

So far fucking lost, dazed and confused: with myself pissed off, annoyed and not at all amused. Sick and tired of trying to be the best person i can be, really fucking over the fact that people are too blind to see. Only this horrible fucking stigma attached to you is with what you are stuck, and to get rid of this cunt thing...OH MY FUCK! Excactly the same way as your needle obsession does that fuckier stick, if you havnt been there dont argue, just assume or judge cause it sucks dick...
I assume its sort of like being demonically posessed, and this fucking thing really puts you to the test. The moment you relax and pause on the mission of being captain fucking recovery, even if just for a second it sees the gap immediately. Once your the wheels in your head start turning, the money in your fucking pockets start burning. Barely inside yourself is what you are and your strenght and opinion you can hear their shouts being carried by the wind faintly and far...
Prisoner in your own fucking body cause it literally feels like your opinion doesnt count! This motherfucker pulling your stings has taken control again for another round. I promise you that it literally feels like youre doing it against your will, something else controlling you and you get the damage bill. Once again im standing at that point where my whole fucking life depends on the day of tomorrow and all i want to do is numb and block out all the fucking sorrow and pain; and hopefully in the process not again lose my mind, go bonkers or apeshit and completely insane...


'singing dont worry, bout a thing cause every litlle things gonna be alright'

Bob Marley - Three little birds

3 comments:

  1. Are you from the UK or America? I can't tell, you sang wanker, but then you'll say something very American? Please do tell, what continent are you one?

    Was your ex girlfriend a model? The picture you have of her looks professinal. She's very hot. She looks American, so do you. Hmmm, I need to know now. I'm going to look at your google + profile to see if I can find out more.

    The dope looks American and midwest or east coast. I've never seen the UK dope, but I've been told it brown. Often called B, because its brown. Well, in some pics the dope is yellow, but so is the dope here in Green Bay WI.

    Come on, where are you?

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  2. South African. Wow, you guys look American. I wonder what your accent sounds like. What is your main language? Are you born and raised in South Africa, or did you move there.

    I've noticed that South African's are rather attractive.

    What super suprising is the dope looks so similar to ours here in America. Also I was told that getting h in Africa was super hard. Perhaps that's Northren Africa in the poorer countries. Isn't there even a shortage of Moprhine in Africa for medical use? How the hell are you getting dope? Must be that Afgany h. Do you know what the purity of the dope is?

    I'm sorry for focusing on dope, when you're obviously strugleing very much with getting clean and staying clean. Do they have Methadone clinics down there? If they do, why don't you get on the Methadone. Much more effective than the subutex or suboxone. In my opinion at least.

    xx
    Anna

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  3. nope-in south africa the streets are FLOODED with smack-i mean i can walk out my gate and across the street(literally there is a dealer) and there are so many dealers everywhere, depending on where you go the quality goes from very good to extremely shit and its the only drug thats getting cheaper and cheaper. Mostly Thai white but also brown from afghanistan and pakistan. Methadone clinics and maintenance programs are non-exsistant and most rehabs here give you physeptone so the subutex/suboxone is a better option here cause you can literally down a bottle of physeptone & still climb out the walls. And then smack addiction is increasing with 400% a day here so the suppliers run outta subtex/suboxone regularly. But anyway...

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